I am His

So I've decided to blog! It only seems natural with everything I have coming up in the near future. We're wrapping up the internship May 15th, and four months later I ship off to Germany for the Marriage of the Arts DTS. I can't make time slow down and add on to the number of grains left in the hour glass. So I am determined to drain every drop of experience I can out of the months I have left.


My favorite verse and something that I have referred back to time and time again is Romans 3:3-4 "What if some did not have faith? Will their lack of faith nullify God’s faithfulness?  Not at all! Let God be true, and every man a liar."
This verse sums up my life in a nutshell.As sad as it may sound, my own faith was never and could never be enough to sustain me. It's not how I made it through all the hard times. It's not what gave me hope in my darkest hour. It's not what I tribute my success to.   I am where I am today simply because I surrendered my own will to God, and He took care of the rest. I have learned and am still learning to rely on God with everything I am.


There is only one explanation for who I am today and what I've made it through, and that is God himself. Not the idea of God. Not opening my bible for an encouraging verse every now and then. Crying out to God for help is what saved me. And then He gave me a humble heart to keep crying out to Him. A lot of us are too stubborn to rely on anyone else but ourselves. For a long time this was the venom that was steadily pumping from my heart and flowing through my blood stream. I didn't do one thing to deserve the cure to this self inflicted disease. But for some reason, before I was even born, God decided that I was His. And after 18 years of ignoring Him and breaking His heart, I finally decided that He was mine. That statement alone has changed the course of my entire life.